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Thursday, June 20, 2013

Paula Deen, Fallen Queen of the South


Flash back a few years ago.....The South had one undisputed Queen and goodwill ambassador:  Paula Deen.  She was the wacky Southern matriarch that everyone wished was part of their family.  She charmed millions by making ridiculously over the top southern delicacies, infamous for adding excessive amounts of butter.  She oozed quirky charm.  She was a person that was hard not to love.  She was made of the fuzzy down home feeling people get when they think about the positive aspects of the South.

My family visited Savannah during the height of Paula Deen's reign as queen.  We visited her restaurant,The Lady and Sons, as we felt it was obligatory.


It was a sight.  People were crowding the streets to the point where it was a virtual safety hazard.  We had to put our name in an hour before the restaurant even opened to ensure a seat.  The restaurant was officially opened by a man ringing a dinner bell in the middle of the street.


Sadly, the food was not good.  I am not a food critic, but the food was bad.  It was a major disappointment.  My wife had been making Paula's recipes for years and they had been excellent, but the food here was bland and tough.  My guess is that it probably wasn't Paula who prepared our food.

Paula's fall from grace begin a few years back.  She was attacked viciously by world famous chef Anthony Bordaine, who basically said her food sucked.  It felt like he was attacking the whole South.  Paula was the Queen of the South and Anthony was a mean spirited drunken New Yorker.  The South rallied behind their queen.

Not long after, Paula announced that she was diabetic, and that she had been keeping it secret for years.  Some felt betrayed.  As Paula was promoting unapologetically unhealthy food she was secretly suffering from a disease caused by eating unapologetically unhealthy food.  Paula would become a spokesperson for an anti-diabetes drug company.  Her mortal nemesis, Bordain would call her out a hypocrite for promoting unhealthy eating and then making money of the disease that she helped create.

This would all be small potatoes compared to what has transpired over the last few days.  A former employee of Deen's has filed a lawsuit claiming that Deen is a racist and used the dreaded "N-Word".  Paula would end up making some admissions during a recent deposition.  The deposition can be read HERE. 

Paula admitted to using the N-word when talking about a black man that had held her at gunpoint.  She states that this was a different time, and this language was more common back then.  Okay, so a Southern Woman in the 60s used a racial slur.  This is nothing that should be too shocking.  At the same time it is a very unpleasant image.  The sweet queen of the South uttering such a nasty word.  It just seems wrong.  I'm not going to make excuses for her, but it is possible that a person changes and grows over time.

Now, somewhat more disturbing was that Paula Deen had planned to have a "Southern Plantation Style Wedding" for her brother.  Paula talked about having all black men dressed in white suites to reflect an era in close proximity to the civil war.  Paula would then admit that these men would essentially be portraying slaves.  This is a very unpleasant image.  I defend the South a lot, but I will not defend slavery.  Slavery is ugly and this was inappropriate.  Deen would nix this idea herself by admitting that people would take it the wrong way.  Really, people would just be offended by something that was genuinely offensive.

The most disturbing parts of the lawsuits involved Paula Deen's brother Bubba, who owns Uncle Bubba's Oyster Shack in Savannah.  The lawsuit alleges that Bubba sexually harassed female staff members by talking about their bodies and showing them porn.  It also alleges that Bubba would become physically violent with his employees.  This news is more devastating to me then the stuff about Paula, primarily because the char-grilled oysters at Bubba's Oyster House are about the best things I have ever eaten.

Maybe we can grow to forgive Paula.  If people can forgive Chris Brown, this one should be easy.

But for the time being, the South has lost its Queen.  I guess we must search for a new on......I propose Miss Kay Robertson.

For those of you who are mad at Paula.  Here is some something to cheer you up:  Paual Deen getting hit in the face with a ham.


Update: I felt the need to discuss the Paula Deen situation a bit more HERE.

The Carpetbagger

Please feel free to e-mail me at jacobthecarpetbagger@gmail.com
and check out my Flickr Photostream

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

The Wooly Booger

I have talked in the past about my love of Taxidermy.  But there is a dark side of Taxidermy, the back side.



At some point in the history of Taxidermy a taxidermist was mounting deer heads and realized that he was throwing away way to many deer butts.

This theoretical situation gave birth to what is commonly known in Taxidermy circles as the "Wooly Booger", also known as the "Assquatch".  The Assquatch is what is created when a Taxidermist uses the ass end of an animal in order to create a human-like monster face. 


 Suffice to say, they are a touch disturbing.







Here is a mount called "Little Foot" made from an unidentified rear end...


And here is a happy little guy made from the back end of a raccoon....



For those of you interested in making your own Wooly Booger, you can find the instructions on the Internet.

According to that site "Many people say that the real red neck art is the shaping of the deer anus to look like a mouth."  Now that is true dedication to an art form.


The Carpetbagger

Please feel free to e-mail me at jacobthecarpetbagger@gmail.com
and check out my Flickr Photostream


Monday, June 17, 2013

My Dollar Store Merman

I have talked about my love for Fiji Mermen in the past and for the longest time I wanted to take a shot at making one of my own. I am NOT a very skilled artist and was on a very limited budget so I gave it my best go, hoping on improving my design in the future.

The Carpetbagger

Please feel free to e-mail me at jacobthecarpetbagger@gmail.com
and check out my Flickr Photostream - See more at: http://www.thecarpetbagger.org/2013/01/straight-out-of-fiji-merman.html#sthash.SvrOrqxz.dpuf
The first step was finding supplies and a taxidermied monkey and fish were not in my budget.  I shopped around looking for something to use as a base, so I went to the local dollar store for supplies.

I decided to start by combing a generic luchadore figure........


and a rubber marine mammal....


I bought a variety of figures, but in the end I decided on using a dolphin.

I removed the legs from the wrestler and melded it to the tail of the Dolphin using my secret ingredient.


This tip was give to me by John Premble, creator of the The Abita Mystery House.  It was really goopy and difficult to work with, but as it hardens it becomes more clay-like a malleable, I did a lot of fiddling around with it.  I added several layers to his head, because it looked to small.  Eventually I decided that his arms were too thick and removed them (they had originally belonged to a wrestler afterall).  I replaced them with bend nails, which gave it a more spindly look that I liked.

When it came to finding hands I was stumped, until my cat brought a dead bird in the house.  I honored the fallen little buy by adding his feet to the project.

After all the liquid nail was dried I finished it off with a coat of Rustolomeum spray paint that had a gritty texture to it.


My original idea was to add dirt to the paint for a gritty feeling, but I figured if they already had gritty spray paint I would try that.

So here he is....


I actually like the arms, I think the birds feet are my favorite part.  Otherwise, I was somewhat dissapointed in my creation.  I think he looks too smooth and his paint job his too uniform.  I need to find someway to mix up his skin patter.

Also, It bothers me that his head is too round and alien looking.  Next time I need to give it more of a skull shape.  I also would like the fins to look more like a fish.   Ideally I want him to look more like this.


Oh well, there is always next time........

 
Maybe the little guy will grow on me.......

At some point I will get back with you on Merman 2.0.  Any advise would be greatly appreciated.

The Carpetbagger

Please feel free to e-mail me at jacobthecarpetbagger@gmail.com
and check out my Flickr Photostream - See more at: http://www.thecarpetbagger.org/2013/01/straight-out-of-fiji-merman.html#sthash.SvrOrqxz.dpuf

The Carpetbagger

Please feel free to e-mail me at jacobthecarpetbagger@gmail.com
and check out my Flickr Photostream
The Carpetbagger

Please feel free to e-mail me at jacobthecarpetbagger@gmail.com
and check out my Flickr Photostream - See more at: http://www.thecarpetbagger.org/2013/01/straight-out-of-fiji-merman.html#sthash.SvrOrqxz.dpuf
The Carpetbagger

Please feel free to e-mail me at jacobthecarpetbagger@gmail.com
and check out my Flickr Photostream - See more at: http://www.thecarpetbagger.org/2013/01/straight-out-of-fiji-merman.html#sthash.SvrOrqxz.dpuf

Saturday, June 15, 2013

The Hicks Babies

The other day I talked about the twin cities of Copperhill, TN and McCayesville, GA.  The two sleepy Southern mining towns that straddle the state line.

There is one tale from these town so twisted and mysterious that I wanted to give it its own entry.  That is the story of the Hicks babies.

Dr. Thomas Jugarthy Hicks was a beloved local doctor the worked in the 50s and 60s in Copperhill, TN.  Dr. Hicks was adored by the towns folks as he would often treat the impoverished for free and helped the local miners and their mine related ailments.

But Dr. Hicks had a not-so-secret dark secret.  He was the premier abortion doctor in the South, which was illegal at the time.  Dr. Hicks was well know through out the South for helping wealthy families get rid of embarrassments.  Wealthy families for Chattanooga and Atlanta would ship their daughters to the rural mountains of the Copper Basin to have secret abortions.  Dr. Hicks was so prominent that the town actually built a airplane landing strip to facilitate the shipping of deflowered daughters.

Dr. Hicks would eventually get busted, but not for the illegal abortions he performed, but rather for the illegal narcotics he was selling through his office.  The doctor would spend time in prison and have his right to practice medicine in TN revoked.  Fourtanetly for the good Doctor, the state line was only a couple blocks away and he returned to town and set up his office in McCayesville, GA.


Being the premier abortion doctor in The South would not be Dr. Hick's most notorious claim to fame.  The Doctor would become legendary for running a black market baby operation.  Not all shamed women who were shipped to McCayesville wanted abortions, but preferred to deliver their babies and put them up for adoption.  Dr. Hicks would turn this into a money making enterprise.

It became know across the United States that Dr. Hicks was selling babies for 1000 dollars a pop.  When his business began Dr. Hicks helped stage elaborate hoaxes.  He would instruct the costumers to tell their family and friends they were expecting and pretend to be pregnant.  The real pregnant woman were housed in upstairs of the New York Restaurant, which is still there today.


Dr. Hicks would set up two operating rooms.  One for the real pregnant mother and one for the woman purchasing the baby.  He would deliver the baby in one room and then walk next door and hand it over to the purchasing couple as if they had actually given birth.  He would then have a birth certificate notarized declaring them the birth parents.

As the years wore one Dr. Hick's operation would increase in sketchiness.  He would abandon the theatrics and actually installed a drive through window in the back of his office where he would hand off a naked baby with a birth certificate in exchange for cash.

The locals did not see Dr. Hicks as a villain, but rather as a saint who was helping couples who could not have children.

His actions were not true secrets at the time, but as the "Hicks Babies" grew into adulthood and begin to look into their past they started to uncover pieces of Dr. Hicks operation.  Unfortunately, Dr. Hicks had all records destroyed before his death.  The Hicks Babies have created a registry to try to find their birth mothers, but so far they have not had much success.

One odd thing that sticks out about the whole Hicks babies scandal is the fact that a disproportionate number of the Hicks babies have red hair.  This raises the intriguing question:  Was he simply selling unwanted babies, or was he actually farming them?

By the way, Dr. Hicks had red hair.

The Carpetbagger



The Carpetbagger

Please feel free to e-mail me at jacobthecarpetbagger@gmail.com
and check out my Flickr Photostream - See more at: http://www.thecarpetbagger.org/#sthash.v0Y2N8Tx.dpuf
The Carpetbagger

Please feel free to e-mail me at jacobthecarpetbagger@gmail.com
and check out my Flickr Photostream - See more at: http://www.thecarpetbagger.org/#sthash.dfYg3ETO.dpuf
The Carpetbagger

Please feel free to e-mail me at jacobthecarpetbagger@gmail.com
and check out my Flickr Photostream - See more at: http://www.thecarpetbagger.org/#sthash.dfYg3ETO.dpuf

Tent Revival Season Continues


Tent revival season continues in the South.  I have not yet built up the courage to partake in this Southern tradition.

The Carpetbagger

Friday, June 14, 2013

The Copper Basin

In these Mountains lies a small community.  This community is comprised of two towns:  McCayesville, GA and Copperhill, TN.  The community is split in half by a state line, painted in blue paint, giving tourists an opportunity to take goofy pictures.


In some places the state line runs right through buildings, including a bar and a church that can do marriages in both states.


Nestled amongst the quite Mountains, these twin cities were once the most polluted areas in the entire country.

The economy in this community was based around the local Copper Mines.


Another primary cause of the pollution in the area was, the acid factory, which I'm sure is related  to Copper in some way.


The Copper industry is not as bustling as it once was, but there are still signs of the disasters it caused.

Check out this massive 350 foot crater that was caused by a horrific mine collapse.


You may notice that, aside from the sparse pine trees there is a lack of vegetation around the crater.  Vegetation is sparse in this area due to the past pollution.   Until recently, the hills here looked like the surface of Mars.

Library of Congress

Library of Congress

Library of Congress
It was explained to me that the pollution from the acid factory killed most the vegetation.  This caused the topsoil to all be washed away by rain and end up here in lake Ocoee. 


I heard from a friend that the air pollution was so thick that you couldn't leave clothes out on the line or the air would stain them.  These days the landscape is still scarred, but scraggily pines are starting to grow.

Another point of interest include this odd little building.


While this little building still stands, Kimsey Junior College never existed.

Ducktown, TN is another small town that sits just outside of Copperhill.


Back in the early 30s the community had a grand plan.  They would build a College to serve the area.  They erected the magnificent building, which to this day is the only building designed by an architect in all of Copper Basin.


Sadly, this was an overly ambitious project.  Do to the extreme rural setting the town was never able to draw enough enrollment to open the building as a college and it set empty.  Finally, the community gave it up and turned the building into a elementary school.  The largest most amazing elementary school in the area.

Me and my wife paid a visit to this school, just to see what it looked like these days.  We poked around the back a bit a took some pictures through the back window.


It started raining really hard and we scrambled back to our car that was parked in front of the building.  My wife pointed out something unsettling.


Someone or something was watching us.  Check out the top left hand window.  After the initial shock wore off we realized that it was a mannequin.  A creepy mannequin, but a mannequin none the less.






As our nerves calmed, we realized we were still being watched.  From inside the building a shirtless man was staring at us from the front door.  We got the hell out of there.

There is also a great Mexican restaurant back in Copperhill that we always make sure we stop at.  To celebrate their building's history they posted this old newspaper clipping on the wall.


I'll let you read that yourself..........Freaky, huh?

The Carpetbagger

Monday, June 10, 2013

Tour Guide Personality Types

When we vacation one thing me and my wife enjoy are tours.  Boat tours, walking tours, ghost tours, history tours, carriage tours.....you name a tour and we have probably tried it.  The key to any good tour is the Guide.  The guide makes or breaks the tour.  I have seen some amazing guides in my days.  Other times a guide can ruin your tour.  I have complied a list of common problems with guides we have come across.  It appears that it takes a delicate balance to make a good guide.

Mr. Over The Top



This is the Guide that is "all in".  A dead giveaway is a period costume or a fake accident.  This also includes ghost tour guides who use spooky voices and try to scare you.  Mr. Over the Top does not understand the art of subtlety.  A ghost story can not just be eerie, it has to end with a blood soaked zombie biting someone's head off.  All legends and stories are completely true and cannot be questioned.  I went on a ghost tour in St. Augustine where the tour guide actually did "voices" for the ghosts in the ghost stories he told.  It was more then a little distracting.  Mr. Over the Top will tell about his own "encounters" that are clearly fake or unbelievable, often making the stories about themselves.  You will also get local history tours where the historian needs to ratchet up their accent to a million.  One of my favorites was a tour I went on in New Orleans where the Guide, in a thick dripping accent, ended every sentence with the phrase "In this crescent city of New Orleans".  That one was actually pretty amazing.

The Buzzkill




The Buzzkill is Mr. Over The Top's Opposite.  Instead of exaggerating ghost stories they end ghost stories by pointing out the historic inaccuracies that make the ghost story unbelievable.  The Buzzkill talks about local legends dismissively and explains how they are likely not true.  A good example of Mr. Buzzkill was a tour guide we had in a cemetery in New Orleans.  Now popular legend is that Marie Laveau, the Voodoo Queen, is buried in St. Louis Cemetery, exactly where is dependent on who you ask.  Local custom is to place three Xs on her tomb and leave money to have her grant you a favor.  Our guide told us that Marie was not buried anywhere in the cemetery and that anyone who participated in this practice was a vandal.  Now, this may be true, but what fun is the truth when all it does is suck the life out of local legends.  The Buzzkill needs to learn to leave a little bit of magic in his stories.  The Buzzkill will often openly mock Mr. Over the Top, showing disdain for those who disperse false information.

The Stodgy Historian


Okay, I admit, that's not a real person
 The Stodgy Hisorian is similar to The Buzzkill in a lot of ways, as they have no interest in talking about questionable local legends.   The Stodgy Historian is going to give you the completely historically accurate story and nothing else.  The Stodgy Historian does not care if something is interesting or not, they will give you the full unadulterated version.  One of the worst tours I ever went on was a plantation tour in Charleston.  The woman who was our Guide spent the entire time talking about the furniture and silverware.  What it was made of, what time period it was, how valuable it it.  She didn't bother to mention anything about any sort of interesting subjects often associated with plantations, such as slavery or the civil war.....or anything that didn't involve interior decorating.  My problem with this sort of guide is that history is not boring.  This country has such a rich and sometimes disturbing history that there are always good stories to tell.  I don't need a two hour explanation on what periods different windowsills come from. 

The Babysitter


The Babysitter approaches at the Billy Graham Library
 The Babysitter is the Guide that shows up when you don't need a guide.  The Babysitter does not understand that you may want to see something at your own pace or you don't need someone to hold your hand in a museum.  I am a fan of small local museums as they often hold hidden treasures.  I always get a little nervous when I realize that the curator is coming along for the ride.  Your never quite sure if they are trying to be helpful or if they are worried that you are going to steal shit.  A good museum docent is happy to talk to you, but will let you roam free if you want. The Billy Graham Museum and Library is a good example of this.  For one, you are not even allowed to enter the next room until the guide opens it and releases you to the next guide (they have for every room).  I remember the akward feeling as me and my buddy were watching a video about Billy Graham and a guide came up and stood so close behind us I could hear him breathing.  He stood there silent during the whole film.

Not every guide falls into one of these categories and some guides take a little bit from each column.  In my honest the best guides are the ones who somehow manage to sidestep these, but occasionally you will get one from one of these categories who manages to be interesting regardless.

Good traveling!

The Carpetbagger

Please feel free to e-mail me at jacobthecarpetbagger@gmail.com
and check out my Flickr Photostream