The Chicago Man-Eaters

A few weeks ago I took my early trip outside the South to visit the arctic tundra of my motherland: The Midwest. 

I had an opportunity to visit I museum I have not visited before: The Chicago Field Museum.  Its a nice old style museum with tons of great taxidermy.  It is most well known for "Sue" the most complete T-Rex Skeleton ever found.  

Hey Sue, How's it going?

But the thing that excited me the most was these two guys.  Meet the Tsavo Man Eaters.

These two adorable lions are the most prolific man-eating lions in history, picking off 135 railroad works off in Africa.  Despite having no manes the lions are both male.  They believe the lions first developed a taste for human flesh by feasting on Hindu funeral pyres that had been left by the river. 

Now, one would think that it would be the most viscous ferocious of the Lions would be the ones that would feed on human, but actually the opposite is true.  Weaker and sicker Lions are usually the ones that become man eaters.  Apex predators like lions and sharks generally do not like to eat people, they are too bony and lean compared to the prey they normally eat.  Some feel that the Tsavo lion murder tour was the caused by a damaged tooth in one of the lions, preventing him from hunting faster stronger prey.

The Man Eaters were hunted down by John Henry Patterson, an Irish Author and Hunter.  The Lions spent 25 years as his rugs, but then donated them to the Field Museum, where they can be seen in all of their glory.

But WAIT, that's not all......

There is another Man Eater at the Field Museum.....

Meet the Man Eater of Mfuwe!

Another maneless Lion (apparently baldness leads to murder in the Lion Kingdom) who had a love of man meat.  Unfortunately for Mr. Mfuwe he only ate 6 people, so he is relegated to the food court in the basement of the Museum and not the main exhibit Hall.  One interesting thing about the Mfuwe man eater is that wherever he went he carried around a bag of laundry he stole.  This behavior lead to locals believing him to be either a demon or a shape-shifting sorcerer.

Other notable taxidermied animals at the Museum are Bushman, the famous gorilla from the Lincoln Park Zoo.

Also, they have Sun Lin, the first Panda to ever live in America....

I am a huge fan of celebrity taxidermy.  I think all famous animals should be stuffed so that they can live in immortality.  The Field Museum seems to understand this.

While seeing dead animals at the Field Museum was awesome, we also took the opportunity to see live animals.   In what is becoming an annual tradition we went to the Milwaukee Public Zoo for the second year in a row during a snow storm.  

The awesome thing about going to the Zoo in the snow is that there is no one else there and the animals seem more relaxed and alive.  They seem to be less shy and more willing to come out when there is no one there.  Plus, as a cold weather zoo, they have excellent indoor enclosures. Check it out.

To my knowledge this Lion has never eaten anyone.  

The only downside to visiting the zoo when it is 10 degrees is that we had to skip the arctic blast booth.

 

The Carpetbagger

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The Legend of Harland Sanders

Is there a larger icon in the South, then Colonel Harland Sanders?  Hell, is there a larger icon in the whole world?

Colonel Sanders is easily one of the most recognizable people to ever walk the planet, right up there with Jesus Christ and Mickey Mouse.

His haunting visage can be found in any country, any town, anywhere in the world.

I recently traveled from my home in the Smoky Mountains of NC to my birthplace near the great Lakes and the ONLY person who has their birth place on a historical sign on this trip is Colonel Harland Sanders.  He is a true Southern Icon and a true American Icon.  He is the man who invented the fast food restaurant.

First of all, for a bit of background.  Sanders was in the military, but his illustrious career only lasted 3 months and he never reached the rank of "Colonel".

Sanders is a "Kentucky Colonel", which is an honorary title that is handed out by the governor of Kentucky to prominent individuals.   Notable Kentucky Colonels include: Bill Clinton, Tiger Woods, Pope John Paul II, Winston Churchill, Whoopy Goldberg, Betty White, Bill Ray Cyrus, Muhammad Ali, and Ronald Reagan.

When this honor was bestowed upon restauranteur Harland Sanders, it meant something more to him then it did these other individuals.  It changed Harland.  From that moment one he insisted on being addressed as Colonel.  He altered his wardrobe and only wore a pure white suit combined with a black string tie, making him look like a civil war era Southern Colonel.  For the last 20 years of his life, he was never seen wearing anything but this uniform and when he died he was buried in it.

The man certainly had an ego, that is clear, but it is something he earned.  The Colonel literally invented fast food.  Kentucky Fried Chicken was the first franchised food chain in the world.  For this alone he is a great American.

The Colonel was notoriously crotchety and cantankerous.  He would should up randomly at Kentucky Friend Chicken Restaurants and if the food wasn't up to his standards he would take it out of the kitchen and chuck it into the parking lot.

After selling the KFC corporation he would bad mouth the food, calling the mashed potatoes a mixture of  "wall paste and sludge".  The KFC corporation would give him a pile of money to get him to shut the hell up and continue to use his iconic image.

For Americans who want to honor the Colonel, there is no shortage of opportunities.

The original Colonel Sanders Cafe is still standing in Corbin, KY.

Its actually a functioning KFC, making it possible the only combination fast food restaurant and Museum in the country.

There is even a photo op where you can pose with the Colonel's Ghost.

Head on over to Louisville and pay respects to the man's final resting place,

All true American's make pilgrimages to this shrine and leave gifts of friend chicken legs.

It doesn't end here though!  Our Colonel Sanders road trip continues!

Stop by the Louisville Welcome Center (which is oddly located in the center of the city) to see this fantastic Wax Figure of the Colonel, complete with a nice bucket of wax chicken.

 Along with one of his original suites.

Of course, for hardcore tourists like me, ONE Wax Sanders and ONE original suit just simply isn't enough.

Head on over to WHY Louisville, a wonderful set of gift shops in Louisville that goes great lengths to honor the colonel.  They have a Wax Sanders WEARING an original suit.

They also have a comic foreground that allows you to BE the Colonel.

Most impressively, Sanders is emblazoned on their mural of "Kentucky Rushmore".

That is Muhammad Ali (which we previous learned is actually Colonel Muhammad Ali), Abraham Lincoln, Sanders and Secretariat.

The Kentucky Rushmore was actually supposed to be a real sculpture, but the plans fell through which is sad.  I love the idea of the Kentucky Rushmore, but I am not happy about the inclusion of Abraham Lincoln.  I think there should be a rule that you are only allowed to be on ONE Rushmore.  Its not fair for him to get to pull double duty.  Plus, let's not forget that Lincoln was actually born in North Carolina......but we'll get to that later.....

The Carpetbagger

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The Fall of Duck Dynasty.......Is this the End of the Redneck Renaissance?

Over the past few years America has been in a love affair with The South.  Southern settings and themes begin to pop up in top fictional TV shows like True Blood and the Walking Dead.  Even more rampant is The South influence on reality television.  For a long while reality TV tended to focus on dysfunctional self indulgent celebrities.  In recent years this has shifted.   With shows like Swamp People and Call of the Wildman rural Southerners have been put front and centers.  The South has been very "in".  We were truly in a Redneck Renaissance which I previously talked about HERE.

The first crack in the armor may have been the Paula Deen "scandal, which I touched on HERE.  The media delighted in the downfall of the once proud Queen of the South when the shocking revelation came out that she said the N-Word once in the 80s.  It was a major blow to the South, as one of its main ambassadors was raveled to be a racist.  Which is one of the greatest taboos in modern culture.  I think that public crucifixion of Miss Deen was wrong.  I felt like it gave people an opportunity to pigeon hole Southern people into the box that they like make.
 

Recently another major Southern Icon "came out of the closet" as a supposed bigot.  This man is Phil Robertson, star the what is easily the most popular show in the Redneck Renaissance Movement.  Phil got his start in the duck call business and made a fortune.  After becoming a popular figure in hunting culture he and his family made a surprising splash in their reality show "Duck Dynasty".  The plot of the show revolves around Phil's son Willie trying to grow the family business while the rest of the family goofs off and extolls Redneck virtues.  Phil is portrayed as a laid back sagely elder.  At the end of every episode Phil prays with the whole family.  The prayer segment is somewhat interesting as he explicitly talks about Jesus in a mainstream show.  I always thought this was pretty cool, as it allowed the family to be themselves without whitewashing anything.   Interestingly enough, the family had made a few public statements complaining about the A&E network editing out a lot of content about their Christian faith, as the family is deeply Christian.

Things were recently split wide open when Phil did an interview with GQ magazine.  While this is a little odd in and of itself, it was the content of the interview that shocked people.   Phil made comments about homosexuality being akin to bestiality.  In addition he said that during the Jim Crow era South he felt that blacks were happy and he did not see them mistreated.

Let's start with the anti-homosexual comments.  First of all, I am a ardent supporter of gay rights.  I feel that homosexuals should be given the same rights as everyone else, including the right to marry.

Now, am I surprised that Phil Robertson things homosexuality is a sin?  No.  He is a 70 something self professed Redneck who grew up in rural Louisiana.  Phil is an evangelical Christian and such beliefs are held by a majority of such Christians.  I have to ask.  Is anyone actually shocked?

I live in a state where the majority of people voted to outlaw gay marriage.  Its sad to say, but aren't Phil's supposed eccentric believes actually mainstream?  Just look at our laws.  Phil's beliefs are shared with a lot of people.

I could not disagree with Phil any more on this subject.  I do think that this does not make Phil a bad person.  Most people have something unsavory about them and reality TV is bound to dig up something bad about someone.  No one is all good or all bad.

As for the racial comments Phil made, I think these were made more out of ignorance then hate.  Clearly racism was a problem in the entire country and Phil must have been blind to miss it.  I do hate to see the Robertson's get a bad rap on the racial issue.  Phil has an adopted grandson who is half black and an adopted granddaughter who is Asian.  I do not think this man is a racist, just a little unobservant.

A&E has suspended Phil for his comments, which has angered quite a few fans.  The Robertson family has stood behind Phil's comments and refuse to apologize.  So suddenly, a good clean honest fun show has become a political wedge, which is really unfortunate.   I feel this development, much like the Paula Deen incident has allowed people to both Pigeonhole and politicize Southern Culture.

Now, while the Robertson family has previously been beloved and seen in a positive light, there is another TV family who has been the constant source of hate and ridicule:  The Honey Boo Boo Clan.

Which I had the honor of meeting.

Ironically, the family that everyone loved to hate and knock are ardent supporters of gay rights.  They have been outspoken with their support and June and Alana even attended the GLAAD awards this year.

Maybe we should not judge people so quickly.


The Carpetbagger

Please feel free to email me at jacobthecarpetbagger@gmail.com
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Carpetbagger on Youtube!

Hey everyone.   I have put together the first Carpetbagger video.   We discuss Southern legend Harrison Mayes.

Enjoy!





The Carpetbagger

Please feel free to email me at jacobthecarpetbagger@gmail.com
And don't forget to check out my Flickr Photostream and my Youtube Page

Put the Krampus back in Christmas

Santa Claus: we all know the guy.  He's big, he's fat, he's jolly, he wears an unmistakable red suit and delivers presents to good children.

When you take a look back at the evolution of the Santa Claus mythology.  You'll notice that a great deal has evolved over the years.   Santa didn't always travel alone.  He used to have a posse that traveled the world with him ensuring that children were good.  While Santa Claus liked to use positive reinforcement in rewarding good children with presents, his friends were less forgiving and liked to use negative reinforcement and handed out beatings to bad children.

The first lost member of Santa's Posse is Zwarte Piet, or Black Peter.   Piet was Santa's right hand man, or personal servant.

From Wikipedia

He's also a white man dressed in horrifying black face minstrel makeup.  Maybe a black stereotype serving as a personal servant to fat rich white man isn't a great idea.  Maybe the less said about this the better.   Let's move along.

The most remarkeable member of Santa's super team was the beast called Krampus.

Krampus is a straight up hairy demon with a disturbing long tongue.  Krampus is based German folklore (where else?).  He takes corporal punishment to a new level.   He beats children with sticks and chains.   Instead of carrying presents in his sack he carries naughty children.  It is not disclosed what he does with the children.

For some reason, at one period in time sending Krampus based Christmas cards was perfectly acceptable, despite the fact that they are more horrifying then anything you would see for Halloween.  The term "Grub Von Krampus" means "Greetings from Krampus".

Let's take a look at these terrifying cards and remember:  Krampus is not Santa's nemesis, he is his friend.

Here is business casual Krampus.....

 

Here he is in the Krampusmobile...

Possibly the most disturbing card I have seen is this one of Krampus carrying a dead child around with a pitch fork.  Remember, this is a CHRISTMAS card.

And there is this super surreal card, where Krampus is roasting hearts with faces.

I actually wanted to make some of my own Krampus cards, integrating Krampus into some classic Christmas moments........Here is the only one that is not too offensive to show.....

Merry Christmas, ya'll.

BTW, all classic Krampus cards are vintage cards and the images do not belong to me.

The Carpetbagger

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This Year's Christmas Parade Circuit

Last year I talked about the amazing spectacle that is small town Christmas Parades.  This year I was only able to hit two Christmas Parades (my record is 4 in one season).  We attended half the Asheville, NC Christmas Parade before being frozen out (the mountains can be surprisingly cold in the winter) and the parade in my home town of Waynesville, NC.

So let's take a look!

We have a Christmas Kangroo........

And the normal barrage of Nativities.....

We have a tree trunk nativity......

A manger with no wheels....

And an kickass semi nativity.....

A monster truck plowed through as fake soap sud snow fell on Waynesville........

And we had our normal endlesss stream of corporate mascots, such as the Geico Gecko and his friends.....

The Chrysler Hampster......

Some lesser known mascots such as the State Farm Insurance Bear.....

...The Wells Fargo Dog Man......

And who can forget, militant Spongebob.....

Or this weird Bee thing.....

Santa forgoes his sleigh to drive a comically small bus.....

And what would a parade be without someone picking up horse turds?

Its good that they keep things subtle.....

Of course this year, I actually jumped out of my seat, ran right into the middle of the parade and photographed what may be the greatest sign I have ever seen in the history of Christmas parades.

Merry Christmas, Ya'll.

The Carpetbagger

Please feel free to email me at jacobthecarpetbagger@gmail.com
And don't forget to check out my Flickr Photostream