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Tuesday, December 23, 2014

Laclede's Landing Wax Museum: World's Creepiest Part 1

It finally happened.  After visiting countless Wax Museums I have finally walked trough the lowest point of the Uncanny Valley.  This Wax Museum is Laclede's Landing Wax Museum in St. Louis, MO.  This wax museum may not have the worst figures (although it does have some really really bad ones), but this is by far the most unsettling Wax Museum I have ever stepped foot in.  I visited at night, which only added to the effect.  The building itself is very old.  Wind blows through the cracks.  The museum is so dark you can't see where you are going a lot of the time.  The museum is impossible to navigate in any sort of logical order and you always feel like you are lost.  There are no directions and the displays are spread over 5 stories.  At times you feel like you have accidentally stumbled backstage.  The halls are claustrophobicly small as dimly lit mannequins stare at you from all corners.  I feel that this Museum should be visited by everyone.   It invoked emotions in me I didn't even know I had.

I ended up shooting an impromptu video, because I felt that pictures didn't do it justice.

You enter through "The most photographed lobby in St. Louis".  Which is actually an ice cream shop.

Check out "Officer Waxie"

You walk past a limp necked ET to enter....

As I first entered the corridors I was immediately struck by how narrow and dark it was, I walked past a big glass box jammed with celebrities.

I don't know who this young lady is, but she makes me feel yucky inside.

Johnny Cash looks really weird as well.....

Steve McQueen fell off his motorcycle.

For some reason this Patrick Swayze is the freakiest figure I have ever seen.....

Just look at him!

Then the creepy factor REALLY kicked in when I noticed I was being watched from a dark corner.

What the hell is that???  It just some super creepy bastard that they stuck in a corner to scare the hell out of me.  This place has a sick sense of humor.  But it only gets worse.  As I start walking up the dark windy (!) stair case I came across this lovely fellow.

Yes, a random, freaking horrifying clown.  Just standing there daring you to walk past it.  I have never been in a Wax Museum where I was actually afraid something was going to move.

They have a whole section based on the Bible.  With all do respect, I have never seen Jesus made to look scarier.

Particularly unsettling is the crucifixion scene.....

Although this guy doesn't necessarily look like he cares that he's being crucified.

And I do believe I have found the world's creepiest Nativity Scene.

There is a section where they have figures that are not wax, but big plastic sculptures.  I am not a fan.

Of course we have the President's of the United States, which include some unsettling Heads of State....

They got to have the most sinister Lincoln of all time.....

What's really funny is that their Obama is just a cardboard cut out.

This Wax Museum is MASSIVE.  Let me run through some of my favorites.

And that brings us to "The Chamber of Horror".  Like most Wax Museums the St. Louis Wax Museum has a separate section that reserved for "scary" exhibits.  But this Chamber of Horror is like none you have ever seen.  While most Chambers are a small collection of movie monsters, this Chamber takes up a full 2 of the 5 floors of the Wax Museum.  It is absolutely horrifying.  As unsettling as the figures are in the main Museum are, just imagine when they are intentionally horrifying, and accompanied by light and sound effects.   I seriously almost skipped it.  Fortunately, I am very brave.

I will discuss the Chamber of Horror in a separate section, because a lot of the content is seriously not family friendly.

If you have what it takes to face the Chamber of Horror (like me).   Click HERE.

The Carpetbagger

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