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Friday, July 12, 2013

Small Town Hoedown

We went to a local fourth of July festival to watch fireworks.  As entertaining as fireworks can be, they cannot be a small town open dance floor.

Watch these people get down to "Cotton-Eye Joe", they only electronica/bluegrass song in existence.


Now check out that same little old man dancing to "Baby Got Back"


Its also good to know that Gangam Style is still alive and well in small town America.


Like any good hoedown we finish with a good old fashion watermelon roll.



The Carpetbagger

Please feel free to e-mail me at jacobthecarpetbagger@gmail.com
and check out my Flickr Photostream

Rock City: The Ultimate Southern Roadside Attraction

Everyone has heard of it, but not everyone knows what it is.  Rock City.  The place of legends.


Growing up in Indiana I remember seeing a bird house with the phrase "See Rock City".


 I had no idea what Rock City was, or where it was, but it always stuck with me.  When I moved to the Mountains of North Carolina I begin seeing this on a much grander scale.  Striking black barns with white lettering beckoning traveler's to visit Rock City.


No matter where you go in South, there are barns calling you to this fabled land.




These barns are so Iconic that they may very well be more famous then Rock City itself.  What you are seeing here is one of the earliest examples of "viral marketing."  Representatives of Rock City would find farmers and offer to paint their barn for free as long as they could use it as advertising space. 

 
No good farmer is going to turn down a free barn painting and presto:  you have one of the most iconic sites of the Southern roadside.


One of my favorite parts of any southern roadtrip is finding new Rock City Barns.


Sometimes you have to look very close to spot them.....


Seriously, look very very close.

So now onto the bigger issue:  What the hell is Rock City? 

Now, this life is filled would things that do not live up to their hype.   Rock City is one of the few things that WILL exceed you expectations.  Simply put Rock City is the greatest place to visit on the Southern Roadside.  It is your duty as a southerner, a traveler, an American and a human being to make a pilgrimage to this wonder.

Rock City was opened in 1932 by this man.


That is Garnet Carter and his wife.   Garnet, who coincidentally is named after a rock, is the creator of Rock City.  Unbelievably this is not the thing that Garnet is best know for.  The man also invented miniature golf.  He is a God of the American Roadside.

Rock City, in Lookout Mountain, GA, right outside of Chattanooga, is a set of natural rock formations that Garnet and his wife greatly improved on. 

You start you trip through Rock City innocuously wandering through naturally formed gullies and tunnels amongst various rock formations such as this.


One of the most well known attractions at Rock City is its legendary "Swing Along Bridge".


Now, for the sake of honesty the swinging bridge is not all that high of the ground.  If you fell off you would probably break your leg, but you certainly wouldn't plummet to your death.  However, the fact that you can see the entire city of Chattanooga from the bridge is enough to kick anyone's fear of heights into high gear.  The person in yellow in the above picture is there to talk you through the walk and to tell you to quit looking at Chattanooga if you get scared.

Of course if terrifying highs are your things, you can check out "Lover's Leap".


 A sheer overlook with an amazing and slightly horrifying view.  It even has your obligatory Indian-princess-jumps-off-a-cliff-for-true love story.  However, the story is completely lifted from the Yonah Mountain Story, so its a little suspect.


Yest another one of Rock City's claims to fame is that from the top of Lookout Mountain that you can see seven states.


Now, I choose to believe this.  Please don't go doing research, because it just makes things less fun. 

Of course, fear of heights is not the only fear one is free to face at Rock City.  There is also plenty for Claustrophobics.  Two different pathways:  The Needle's Eye and Fatman's Squeeze are there to test your endurance.  These "pathways" are so narrow that the walls on both side scrape you as you scuttle through sideways.  Unable to move other then to slowly lurch forward while cave plants tickle your ankles.  A true test of human sanity, especially for those of use with a little meat on our bones.


The deeper you get into Rock City the more you start to see the Carter's improvements on the natural terrain.  Such as the Rainbow Corridor.


The Rainbow corridor is simply a short cave with tinted windows, that create a rather magical effect.



 
It also gives you a chance to see what Chattanooga looks like in different colors.




Now, when you hit "The Hall of the Mountain King" the awesome starts kicking into high gear as you enter the bowels of Rock City.  The cavers are full of Rock City's trademark gnomes.


Some are even hard at work on the obligatory Moonshine Still.






This of course leads us to our grand finale:  Fairyland Caverns.....a small claustrophobic cavern dripping with water at every turn.  Carved into the cave are glowing black light dioramas of various fairy tales.  It is something one must see in person to truly appreciate.  The whole experience is magical, yet unnerving, spectacular, yet uncomfortable.  The time you spend in Fairyland Caverns is a time you will never forget.








Once you have made it through Fairyland Caverns you are let out into a massive room where garbled speakers broadcast haunting nursery rhymes sung by children that sound like they were lifted from a horror movie as you move around a black light mountain covered with fairy tale characters.









Then suddenly it is over.  You are back in sunlight.  You hit the turnstiles and your day at Rock City is over.  But it is a day you will never forget.  As far as Roadside attractions go, Rock City is the King when it comes to the South.  Listen to the Barns.  When you see Rock City, you see the Best.


The Carpetbagger

Please feel free to e-mail me at jacobthecarpetbagger@gmail.com
and check out my Flickr Photostream

Monday, July 8, 2013

Judaculla and Other Awesome Cherokee Monsters

Now I am in no way an expert on Native American folklore, but I like what I have heard.  One trend I have noticed is their penchant for spectacular Godzilla-esque monster.  I wanted to take some time to talk about some of these amazing mythological Cherokee beasts.

 

The Uktena

 

Not my photo

The Uktena is a horrifying beast that came from the pits of hell.  It has the body of a giant snake, wings, and deer antlers for some reason.  One of the most intriguing characteristics of the Uktena is that it has a giant diamond imbedded in its forehead.  Anyone who could kill the Uktena could steal this diamond and use it to gain great power.  Unfortunately, the Diamond was also the Uktena's most dangerous weapon.  It would flash and hypnotize you and force you to run into the Uktena's mouth.  Oh yeah, and he could also breathe poison steam.

So is the Uktena still out there?  No, he's dead.  He was killed by a Cherokee Medicine man named "Groundhog's Mother".  It was said that if one was brave enough when they faced the Uktena they could summon giant eagles to assist them in killing it.  As late as 1890 a Native American claimed to still possess the diamond from the head of the Uktena.   It is said that it is still hidden in a cave in Cherokee, NC wrapped in deer skin and placed in a clay pot.  So far, all my attempts at locating the Uktena Diamond have been unsuccessful.

The Flying Monsters

 

Me and my family were visiting the museum on top of Brasstown Bald, the highest point in GA (that's actually not that high).  The museum was a bit dry, discussing such things as railroads, conservation and corn.  Then I stumbled upon this.


Cherokee legend states that there were straight up dragons terrorizing the mountains along the border of GA and NC.  These creatures were said to hide in the dense forests on top of mountains and swoop down to Indian villages to eat children. Luckily,  much like the Uktena, these monsters are dead.  A Cherokee warrior set out to kill the monsters that were eating his village's children.  He prayed to the great spirit and lighting was sent down to kill the dragons.  Unfortunately, the warrior was also struck by lighting and turned to stone.  It is said that his petrified body is still standing on top of the mountain at Standing Indian Campground in Franklin, NC.  The lighting was also said to strip the tops of mountains of trees so the monsters could not longer hide.  These explains "Balds" or unexplained spots with no trees on the tops of mountains that appear in these areas.

Judaculla

 

Originally called Tsul 'Kalu, this beast's name was butchered by the English Language until it became Judaculla.  The name translates literally into "The Slant Eyed Giant".   Judaculla would jump from mountain top to mountain top, his voice made thunder and his arrows made lightning.  He would drink whole streams in one gulp, so at first he seems like some sort of Native American Paul Bunyan.

Interestingly enough, when The Bible was translated to the Cherokee language the name "Goliath" was changed to Judaculla, so he may be more nefarious then originally thought.

Judaculla's primary claim to fame in the region is the creation of "Judaculla Rock".


Judaculla rock is a prehistoric Rock in Jackson County, NC near the boyhood home of Dr. John Brinkley.  The rock is covered in symbols of unknown origin that no one has ever been able to translate.  The Cherokee legend is that the stone is actually the imprint of Judaculla's foot as he jumped down from the mountain.

As you can see from this old timey picture the rock used to be bigger and more clear.

Not my photo

They filled in the carvings with chalk to make them more visible, sadly this helped corrode the rock leaving it a fraction of its former glory.

One of my favorite theories about the Rock was put forth by a local paranormal group.  As they outline on their Web Page, their theory is that the pictures on the rock are actually micro-organisms, which must have been viewed by an ancient culture that somehow invented the micro-scope.

I still like the monster footprint idea better.

The Carpetbagger

Please feel free to e-mail me at jacobthecarpetbagger@gmail.com
and check out my Flickr Photostream