Strom and Essie Mae

The South Carolina Capital building (possibly the most controversial capital building in the country) has a statue of a single man out in front.  This man is Strom Thurmond.

Where do you begin when talking about Strom Thurmond?  He is a man who in most people's eyes embodies the segregationist movement.  The movement that believed that whites and blacks should be legally mandated to live separately.  That is pretty damn racist.  Strom was so dedicated to the segregationist cause that he engaged in the longest filibuster in history to try to block the the Civil Rights Act of 1957.  Strom would ramble on for over 24 hours going onto wild tangents including reciting his grandmother's biscuit recipe.

Not my photo

Stromr begin his term in the US senate in 1956.  Luckily, it was realized that he was a man from another time and when the country finally came to a consensus that segregation was evil, he was booted from office.  Just kidding, he served until 2003 and ended his term as the longest serving senator in US history. 

Not my photo

When he died he eulogy was given by Senator.  Joe Biden, who you may know as being the the vice president serving under America's first African-American President.

This Guy

Strom's positions did gravitate to a more moderate mainstream position overtime, but he never truly denounced his past actions.  For whatever reason he was allowed to remain in the senate for almost half a century.  In an odd twist, Senator Trent Lott was forced out of office for saying that Strom should have been president.  This confused me.  Its okay for Mr. Racism, Strom Thrumond to stay in office forever, but if you publicly say you like him, you risk being forced out of office.

When Strom died in 2003 you would this this long complex journey would be over.  It was only just beginning.

Enter Essie Mae Washington-Williams.

Not my photo

Essie Mae was Strom's half-black daughter.  Essie Mae was conceived through the wonders of statutory rape, when Strom impregnated a 15 year old black girl who was working for his family.  One would think that the principles of segregation would forbid one from having sex with people of another race.

Essie Mae would not "come out" as Strom's daughter until after Strom's death.  Strom supported her financially in secret in exchange for her secrecy.  In a somewhat strange twist, the two actually had a relationship and kept in contact over the years.  Essie Mae would try to change her father's opinions on segregation, but her father reportedly brushed her off.

Remember that statue?

After Essie Mae came out of the shadows Strom's statue was modified.  The base had contained a list of Strom's children.  It would be modified to include Essie Mae.

You can see how the word "five" was crudely placed over the word "four".

Essie Mae died on Monday, thus ending one of the strangest parables of race in American History.

The Carpetbagger

Please feel free to e-mail me at jacobthecarpetbagger@gmail.com
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Non-Traditional Sports

From what I understand, there is an event known as "The Superbowl" today.  Now, I have never been one to follow traditional sports.  I don't really know how football works, other then it is a group of large man who takes turns dog piling each other and then standing around.

This is not to say I can not be excited by sports.  I wanted to take an opportunity to talk about some of the non-traditional sports out there.  These are events that are not about winning and loosing, but more about the experience.

6. Monster Truck Rallys

Now, in the spirit of full disclosure, I have only been to one monster truck show and I was really too young to remember it.  Attending another one is definitely on my ridiculously long bucket list.  

I did have a chance encounter with "Monster Mutt" at one point.

 
Now I am sure there is some way that monster trucks "win" at rallys, but much like football I am not clear on how that works.  Clearly winning and losing is not the point.  You take a giant truck with ridiculously large wheels and you make it do back flips and crush cars.  If that's not a recipe for success I don't know what is.  For whatever reason they are also know to have giant robotic, fire breathing, car eating dragons at these rallys.  All in all it sounds like a good night.

5. Idiotarod 

The iditarod is a legendary dog sled race that takes place very year in Alaska.  The Idiotarod is similar, but instead of a sled you use a shopping cart and instead of dogs you use idiots (hence the name).   The idiots are encouraged to pimp out the cart in the strangest way possible and to dress as idiotically as possible.  When I learned of this even occurring in Asheville, NC I had to check it out.

Despite the rainy weather, there was an amazing turnout and had quite an assortment of ridiculous carts and outfits.

 
And they are off!

I would tell you who won, but the problem with races is that everyone runs off as soon as it starts and you never see them again.

4. Roller Derby

Roller Derby is a truly unique sport.  It combines two truly American things: pretty girls and violence.  The two meld like peanut butter and jelly.

The rules are a little odd and confusing, but basically one member of each team tries to score points by advancing past members of the opposing team, while they attempt to block her.

Its a colorful sport that obviously doesn't take itself that seriously.  The girls use goofy stage names to help them stand out.

Here is "Mozaltov Cocktail"

Here is "Tess LaCoil"

"Miss Thang 1 and 2"....

and the lovely Miss "Skelly Tor".....

3. Alligator Wrestling 

Alligator wrestling is a great tradition in Florida.  There are actually two types, the native Seminole Indian  Wrestling and the White "Cracker" form.  From what I understand both techniques are very similar, but both are amazing.

While very dangerous, alligator wrestling operates on basic principle:  While alligators have unbelievable bite pressure, the muscles that actually open their mouth are relatively weak and can be held shut by human hands.  Alligators are serious business and are one of the most dangerous wild animals in America, which makes it odd that they can be defeated by a bare handed human.

Of course you are not going to impress a crowd of people simply by holding an alligator's mouth shut.  The Alligator Wrestler must engage in some crowd pleasing dangerous moves.

Like this....

Another trick in every good Alligator Wrestler's repertoire is a death grip that puts the alligator to sleep.  This involves the Wrestler flipping an alligator onto their back and applying pressure to its bottom jaw, rendering the alligator helpless. 

As cool as this trick is, it is probably not going to save you during a wild alligator attack.

Of course, with any good alligator show you are going to want to send the crowd home happy, and they arn't going to be happy unless they get a shot to wrestle an alligator themselves.

Fun for the whole family.

2. Pig Racing

I love the county fair.  The sights, the smells and the tastes.  If there is any event that truly personifies the fair to me it is the pig race.  It is amazing how excited a crowd can get when cheering on pigs racing in a circle for a single cheeto.  The pigs are of given the names of famous race car drivers altered to sound like pigs such as Piggy Gordon and Hoggy Jarrett.

As awesome as the pig race is, they always have to add a little something to spice it up, like racing other animals.

 
Or having a miniature high diving pig.

1. Professional Wrestling

I did a full article on why I believe Pro Wrestling to be the one true sport.  No other "sport" truly grasps the drama of humanity and explores the dichotomy of Good vs. Evil. 

If you have any doubts on how remarkable pro wrestling really is, please check out this youtube video. 

(Not mine).

So keep your football, I will be enjoying the non-traditional sports this great nation has to offer.

The Carpetbagger

Please feel free to e-mail me at jacobthecarpetbagger@gmail.com
and check out my Flickr Photostream

Santa's Land

 

In the tourist mecca of Cherokee, NC lies a very special place.  A place trapped in time.  This place is simply known as Santa's Land.  Santa's Land was built in the 1960s and as far as I can tell, they have hardly changed a thing.  Much like Jurassic Park Santa's Land is an amusement park trapped in time.  Over the years my family has made several trips here.

Driving through Western Carolina you will notice the signs that look as though they are old as time themselves.

Leading you to the gates of Santa's Kingdom.........

Once you cross the gates of Santa's Land you are immediately hit by one thing.................the smell of bear poop.....

Yes, Santa's Land's "Zoo" is one of the facilities that Bob Barker traveled all the way to Cherokee to try to shut down.  There are some key differences.  Santa does not keep his bears in a pit.  The bears at Santa's Land are kept behind a chain link fence that you can walk right up to and stick your fingers in.

Santa's Land did hold the distinction of being the only roadside zoo that allowed Bob Barker tour their facility.  He didn't exactly love it though.

I won't try to white wash it.  It is a little disturbing to watch a nature presentation done by an elf feeding a baby bear kool-aid out of a bottle.

 

Since it is Santa's home turf, they have some reindeer, complete with peek holes for them to be fed.

As well as other rare animals....

Santa's Land is not a one trick pony and is far more then a roadside zoo.  Under the cloud of bear stink, the first think you see once you enter Santa's Land is this.

 

A giant creepy rabbit!  Look at his crazy face!

Did I mention this horrifying thing is like 12 feet tall?

Joining this rabbit in its statue garden is this somewhat questionable Eskimo.

As well as a menagerie of other fiberglass beasts....

As you make your way through Santa's Land you come across a church.  Now this church is mostly empty, but it used to contain one of the most amazingly creepy things I have ever come across.

Hit the button and the Mannequins came to life.  Well, they writhed a bit while garbled gospel music played in the background.

Vintage postcards of Santa's Land show that this exhibit changed over the years a bit.

Looks like these little Cherubs didn't age too gracefully.  Fortunately, they kept that awesome hippy Jesus.

If its live entertainment you crave, make sure to catch a magic show by "The Amazing Gene"

Of course one of the main attractions at Santa's Land is the paddle boats.  What's so special about paddle boats, you ask?

First of all, the lake is filled with the largest most aggressive, frightening Koi I have ever seen.

Take a look at them in action....

Oh, yeah, and you also get to chunk food to Monkeys on islands surrounded by electric fences........

As you are trying to thrown a dog biscuit at a lemur while Koi are shaking your boat back and forth you wonder if you are in some sort of strange nightmare.

Also, in the realm of nightmares is a series of small buildings housing dioramas.

Take a look at this charming tableau of Santa's Elves.

Did I mention that they move???

Here is a compelling exhibit on how Santa's Laundry gets done.

Sadly, when I visited a few years later, this back breaking labor, had caught up with Miss Deer.

Santa Claus, being a figure in the public domain, has no fear of copyright attorneys, as these depictions of the Keebler elves show.

And of course no Southern Tourist Attraction would be complete without the ubiquitous Moonshine Still.

 The main event at Santa's Land is undoubtedly the Rudiocoaster.  A short, but exciting roller coaster with the head of Rudolph.

Check out, the short bumpy ride.......

Of course one cannot visit Santa's land without seeing the man himself and allowing him to scare your children....

Here is a vintage postcard of Santa being groomed by one of his "helpers"

Hope you all enjoyed, this virtual trip through a theme park trapped in time..........

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night

The Carpetbagger

Please feel free to e-mail me at jacobthecarpetbagger@gmail.com
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