Human Roadside Advertising

I think we have all seen them.  People standing on the side of the road holding signs advertising businesses.  I think I understand that there is a legal loop hole going on here.  You can't just go around pounding signs in the ground without a permit, but if you use a human being as a pole you get around the law.  Afterall, you don't need a permit to just stand there.

Of course hiring homeless people as human sign posts can be a bit depressing.

Businesses need to do something to spice up their mascots so they don't look like quite as depressing.

A costume can really spice things up, especially if your mascot is willing to break out the dance moves.

Of course my favorites are always the ones that go all out.

Chickens have always been a good standby.

But you can always get a little more creative and have an anthropomorphic mattress....

Or maybe an eery cellphone-man.....

Or whatever the hell this thing is....

Keep in my mind though, it is possible for a costume to make things even more depressing.

Isn't that the loneliest banana you have ever seen? 

Of course my favorite encounter with one of these magical roadside beings was the day I spotted this harmless looking Mr. Potato Head.

 

I was leaning out the window of the car trying to get a good picture of Mr. Potato, but I was having a hard time getting a good angle.  I called out "Hey, Mr. Potato Head!  Look over here."  Apparently, this potato had enough and screamed back at me "Fuck you!".  Yikes, sorry.

The Carpetbagger

For more rampant silliness, check out my Flickr Photostream

Boiled Peanut Stands

After moving to the South it took some time to familiarize myself with local cuisine.  I never knew how many different things you could fry or pickle.  Some foods I was just never able to get on board with.  I still think sweet potatoes taste lake baby food.

I previously thought grits were too bland for even babies to eat, but I realized they can be greatly improved when you put some shrimp on them.

One Southern delicacy that I was somewhat hesitant to try was the ever present boiled peanut.  These peanuts were seemingly sold everywhere you went in the South, sold out of ramshackle stands on the side of the road.

 
One of my first introductions to boiled peanuts was a roadside salesman I passed everyday.  The man looked like Charles Manson and stood on the edge of the road holding out a zip-lock bag of Peanuts.  He had a sign that declared the peanuts for sale.  He would be there without fail everyday, even in the rain.  He would stand there with rain pouring all over him as he held out his bag of peanuts, looking quite frightening.  I was not as brave back then and never bothered to stop.  One day the man was gone and replaced with a metal sign that said that selling produce on the side of the road was illegal.

When I finally decided to try boiled peanuts I did it the wrong way.  I bought a can of boiled peanuts at the grocery store.  It was cold, disgusting and slimy.  I wondered what all the fuss was about.  But I had made a crucial mistake.  Boiled peanuts should NEVER be brought pre-packaged.  The should be bought at the after mentioned roadside stands.  They need to come out of a big stinky black pot that can be smelled for miles.

Or converted oil drums.

They are an absolute delicacy.  They are hot, salty, meaty and delicious.  They are the ultimate southern road trip food.  They are worth having sticky salty hands and a car full of slimy peanut shells. 

Our favorite place grab boiled peanuts is the roadside stand in Cherokee, NC, right before we enter the Great Smoky Mountains National Park.

The peanuts are sold by this man.

He one time told me he ate nothing, but peanuts.  I'm not sure if he was joking or not.

The signs for these shacks are impressive in their own right and some can be considered works of folk art.

These shacks are true parts of the Southern roadside.

Of course boiled peanuts are not completely isolate to roadside stands.  I have to give a shout out to one of my favorite restaurants:  Hyman's Seafood in Charleston, SC.  They give a bowl of boiled peanuts to every table much like a Mexican restaurant gives chips and salsa.  Another cool thing about Hyman's is that it is a hotspot for celebrities and they stamp each table with the Celebrities that have sat at that particular table.

That's right, I got to eat boiled peanuts in Vanilla Ice's seat.  My wife was sitting in Michael Bolten's seat.  I like to think they ate there at the same time.

The Carpetbagger

BTW, Please check out my My Flickr Photostream

Orion, The Man Who Would Be The King

In Southern Culture there is one towering figure that clearly rises above the rest.  His name is Elvis Pressley

What other celebrity, long dead still has such a rabid following.

Just take the Elvis Museum in Pigeon Forge, TN

Who else but Elvis could get you to spend twenty dollars to see his old toothbrush.

No matter what you think of the man or his music there have been very few human beings that have gained such a level of reverence.  Elvis has acquired a near deity like status in this country.

Decades after his death there are still people who make a full time living just pretending to be him.

But, I am not interested in talking about Elvis today.  Everyone knows the ins and outs of Mr. Pressley's life and times.  From his songs to his eating habits.  There is a man who pretended to be Elvis, but in a much different way then your traditional Elvis impersonator.

This man is Orion.

Wikipedia

Orion was first brought to my attention by the photographs of my Flickr friend Apricot X.  I was immediately fascinated.

Orion is the stage name of Jimmy Ellis.  When Elvis passes away the good people at Sun Records concocted a scheme.  You know how they continued to release Tupac albums long after he was dead?  Well, it was kind of like that, but they didn't want to release a bunch of old recordings, they wanted brand new material and a living breathing body that could tour.  Jimmy Ellis was born with the odd talent of having a singing voice nearly identical to Elvis, but physically did not resemble him.  His handlers would slap a glittery zorro-style mask on him and send him around the world to sing.

Property of Sun Records

The intention was obvious.  People were supposed to think that Orion was actually Elvis under a mask.  The name "Orion" was taken directly from a book about a rock star who fakes his own death and attends his own funeral.

If you have any doubts that this was plan at all, take a look at the not-so-classy original album art for Orion's debut Album "Reborn".

Property of Sun Records

That's right.....it actually shows him rising up out of a coffin to sing while dressed like Elvis.

Fame was a two way street for Orion.  He had struggled to start a singing career under his own name, but failed to gain much notoriety.  Orion brought him the fame he desired, but he had to hide under a mask a perpetuate a somewhat tasteless fraud.

Property of Sun Records

Apparently the persona of being a reincarnated Elvis took a toll on the mind of Orion.  While researching the man he was emulating Orion discovered that there was evidence that Elvis's father may have conceived an illegitimate child.  Orion began to wonder if he actually was Elvis's half-brother.  Orion's inner moral dilemma hit a boiling point when he tore his mask off during a performance.  This would be the beginning of the end for Orion and Jimmy Ellis would come and admit that he was Orion and that he was not actually Elvis under a mask.

Sadly Jimmy Ellis would meet a violent end as he and his wife were gunned down in a random crime while working in his pawn shop.

I looked through thrift shops for years to find and Orion Album, but never came up with one until I finally just broke down and bought one on Ebay.

Long live the man would be the King

The Carpetbagger.

Don't forget to check out my My Flickr Page

Cherokee, NC

Cherokee, NC is a classic American tourist destination.  Ever since the Great Smokey Mountain National Park was created in the 1930s, Cherokee has served as it gateway.  For those of you who are not familiar with the area, Cherokee, NC lies within the Qualla Boundary which is often referred to as a "Indian Reservation".  Technically it is not an Indian Reservation, but a Native American Land Trust.  Just don't tell the guy that made the sign.

Cherokee is the home of Eastern Band of Cherokee Indians.  Which is the portion of the Cherokee tribe that managed to avoid being removed from the area during the Trail of Tears. 

As a tourist magnet Cherokee was happy to give people want they want and went all out with using Native American imagery to sell to tourists.

With just a little education about the Cherokee people you start to realize that the portrayal is a little off.  Just head over to the Cherokee Museum and they will tell you how off it is.

The signs portrayed Indians as they were portrayed in Hollywood Movies, with long flowing head dresses. 

The thing is that the Eastern Cherokee never dressed like this.

Another thing they never did was live in Teepees, as the Cherokee were not nomadic and lived in permanent houses.  Of course, walking around Cherokee you would never guess this.

I guess they were just giving people what they wanted.  If you were to go into an "Indian Store" this is the sort of thing you would find.

There are places that sell authentic Indian crafts, but a lot more that sell "Made in China" Indian goods.

Of course there is a large movement in Cherokee to get rid of these images and ideas and reshape Cherokee to more accurately show Indian culture.

There is a new tourist campaign that pushes a more accurate portrait of Indian culture for tourists to engage in.

Actually, that one if a little intimidating.

There is of course another force pulling on the future of Cherokee:  The Towering Harrah's Casino

The tourist demographic has shifted from families looking to buy plastic Indian toys, to people who want to blow $500 at video poker.  That towering Hotel connected to the casino means that gamblers can stay in Cherokee and gamble without ever having to see the light of day.  This is causing all the small Indian themed Motels that used to line this street to vanish one by one.

So the stereotypical Indian theme is vanishing from Cherokee.  Some may see this as a positive and maybe it is.  I do think that people need to remember that these images and signs have actually become a piece of history themselves.  How many people have passed through Cherokee on family vacations and bought a plastic headdress or had their picture taken with a "real" Indian Chief.  No matter what you feel about these things, for decades they were the face of Cherokee and it serves nobody to pretend that they never existed.  I think it can be acknowledged that these things were silly, possibly exploitive and historically inaccurate, but it will always be a part of roadside history.  I think there is room for the "real Cherokee", the kitchy Cherokee, and the Cherokee where gamble all your money away in a smoky room with no windows.

The Carbetbagger

Check out my Flickrs page for more Southern roadside wackiness.

Herbert "Cowboy" Coward, Hillbilly Icon

When people think of a movie about "The South" they would probably say "Deliverance".  This is actually an excellent movie, but there are two scenes that everyone remembers.

There is this one.

And then there is this cinematic gem.

One of the most notorious scenes in cinematic history and a very controversial one in the South.  The movie deliverance successfully made every yankee assume that they would be raped if they stepped foot in the South.  I can honestly say I have lived here 12 years and I have never been raped.  "Squeel like a pig" and "You got a purdy mouth"  have become permanent parts of the American lexicon.  While it is regretful that  this movie caused such rampant stereotypes, that clearly wasn't the intention of the movie.   If you haven't seen it, I encourage you to, its a lot more then banjos and rape.

When I moved to the South I was shocked to find out that this movie was filmed just a few miles away in Rabun County, GA.  Where for some reason, people are just a little touchy about the movie.

What made me even more excited was when I found out that "The Banjo Boy" Billy Redden (from the first clip) lived in the town next to me.  One of the things that surprises people about Mr. Redden is that he is not mentally handicapped.  He actually was owner of a restaurant.  One day I decided I was going to go meet Mr. Redden so I headed out to his restaurant and was devastated to find it closed down and emptied.  I gave up on meeting this true Southern Icon.  I thought I would have to settle on visiting the grave of James Dickey, the author of the book, who is buried in Myrtle Beach, SC.

I would find out that Mr. Redden wouldn't be my only chance at having a brush would the greatness of Deliverance.

After I moved to Haywood County, NC.  I found out that there was another iconic cast member of Deliverance who lived in the area.  His name was Herbert "Cowboy" Coward. If you look at the second clip he is this guy.

He is the guy who makes the icon "purdy mouth" line.

Herbert is actually a very well know local character, no only because he was a movie star, but because he has a trained squirrel that goes with him everywhere.  I learned that he had his own stand at a local flea market and stopped by hoping to meet him, but all I found was this sign.

Not to be deterred, I would swing by the flea market every chance I had.  My wife was a little concerned at my determination.  When I was finally about to give up I struck gold and came across "The Cowboy". 

He was very kind and happy to to talk about his appearance in Deliverance, although he was mad that his Deliverance royalty checks had not been showing up.  He had actually recently been in another film: Ghost Town: The Movie and he sold me an autographed copy.

But most exciting of all he let me take a picture of us together with Starsky on my shoulder!