Santa's Land

 

In the tourist mecca of Cherokee, NC lies a very special place.  A place trapped in time.  This place is simply known as Santa's Land.  Santa's Land was built in the 1960s and as far as I can tell, they have hardly changed a thing.  Much like Jurassic Park Santa's Land is an amusement park trapped in time.  Over the years my family has made several trips here.

Driving through Western Carolina you will notice the signs that look as though they are old as time themselves.

Leading you to the gates of Santa's Kingdom.........

Once you cross the gates of Santa's Land you are immediately hit by one thing.................the smell of bear poop.....

Yes, Santa's Land's "Zoo" is one of the facilities that Bob Barker traveled all the way to Cherokee to try to shut down.  There are some key differences.  Santa does not keep his bears in a pit.  The bears at Santa's Land are kept behind a chain link fence that you can walk right up to and stick your fingers in.

Santa's Land did hold the distinction of being the only roadside zoo that allowed Bob Barker tour their facility.  He didn't exactly love it though.

I won't try to white wash it.  It is a little disturbing to watch a nature presentation done by an elf feeding a baby bear kool-aid out of a bottle.

 

Since it is Santa's home turf, they have some reindeer, complete with peek holes for them to be fed.

As well as other rare animals....

Santa's Land is not a one trick pony and is far more then a roadside zoo.  Under the cloud of bear stink, the first think you see once you enter Santa's Land is this.

 

A giant creepy rabbit!  Look at his crazy face!

Did I mention this horrifying thing is like 12 feet tall?

Joining this rabbit in its statue garden is this somewhat questionable Eskimo.

As well as a menagerie of other fiberglass beasts....

As you make your way through Santa's Land you come across a church.  Now this church is mostly empty, but it used to contain one of the most amazingly creepy things I have ever come across.

Hit the button and the Mannequins came to life.  Well, they writhed a bit while garbled gospel music played in the background.

Vintage postcards of Santa's Land show that this exhibit changed over the years a bit.

Looks like these little Cherubs didn't age too gracefully.  Fortunately, they kept that awesome hippy Jesus.

If its live entertainment you crave, make sure to catch a magic show by "The Amazing Gene"

Of course one of the main attractions at Santa's Land is the paddle boats.  What's so special about paddle boats, you ask?

First of all, the lake is filled with the largest most aggressive, frightening Koi I have ever seen.

Take a look at them in action....

Oh, yeah, and you also get to chunk food to Monkeys on islands surrounded by electric fences........

As you are trying to thrown a dog biscuit at a lemur while Koi are shaking your boat back and forth you wonder if you are in some sort of strange nightmare.

Also, in the realm of nightmares is a series of small buildings housing dioramas.

Take a look at this charming tableau of Santa's Elves.

Did I mention that they move???

Here is a compelling exhibit on how Santa's Laundry gets done.

Sadly, when I visited a few years later, this back breaking labor, had caught up with Miss Deer.

Santa Claus, being a figure in the public domain, has no fear of copyright attorneys, as these depictions of the Keebler elves show.

And of course no Southern Tourist Attraction would be complete without the ubiquitous Moonshine Still.

 The main event at Santa's Land is undoubtedly the Rudiocoaster.  A short, but exciting roller coaster with the head of Rudolph.

Check out, the short bumpy ride.......

Of course one cannot visit Santa's land without seeing the man himself and allowing him to scare your children....

Here is a vintage postcard of Santa being groomed by one of his "helpers"

Hope you all enjoyed, this virtual trip through a theme park trapped in time..........

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night

The Carpetbagger

Please feel free to e-mail me at jacobthecarpetbagger@gmail.com
and check out my Flickr Photostream

Put Your Head in the Hole

It is very rare that one man can make two major unrelated contributions to western society.  Louis Pasture invented both the small pox vaccination and the process of milk pasteurization. 

Another such man is Cassius Coolidge.  Cassius's first creation was an imagine that is thoroughly entwined in America's culture and landscape.  You have seen this imagine time and time again and likely never stopped and though, "Gee, I wonder who painted that."

Property of Cassius Coolidge

Dogs playing poker.  A landmark in kitschy home decor.

For most men, such an iconic contribution would be enough, but not for Cassius Coolidge.  He created another masterpiece, one that you have probably seen at about any vacation spot across the country.

Coolidge invented the "Comic Foreground".  Paintings you could stick your head through form comic effect.  The effect is simple and classic, but it does not come without its own dangers.

I am always a sucker for these cut outs.  Here is my collection of photographs of cut outs from around the country.

White Squirrel Festival.  Bervard, NC

There are two types of people in this world.  Those who will put there head in the hole and those who will not.  My daughter will always put her head in the hole.

Cypress Gardens, SC

Tiger, GA

Key West, FL

Busch Bean Museum. Dandrige, TN

Mothman Festival.  Point Pleasant, OH

Atlanta, GA

On the rare occasion I can bribe my son into participating.

Weeki Wachee, FL

Or my mom....

Babyland General.  Cleveland, GA

Or my wife....

Hell, MI

Most the time, I have to resort to taking pictures of the empty foregrounds.  Which I actually find have a really cool vibe to them.

Helen, GA

Macon, GA

Maggie Valley, NC

The Old Jail.  St. Augustine, FL

Maggie Valley, NC

Helen, GA

Gatlinburg, TN

Nasheville, TN

Seale, AL

Plains, GA

Tiger, GA

Mountain Mall.  Gatlinburg, TN

Quaker Steak and Lube Charleston, WV

Shell Factory.  Ft. Meyers, FL

Here may be the grandest photo opportunity of them all at Santa's Land in Cherokee, NC.  Look at all those holes, just ignore the fact that none of them make any sense.

Santa's Land. Cherokee, NC

Let's all take a moment to thank Cassius Coolidge for his contribution to our family vacations.

The Carpetbagger

Please feel free to e-mail me at jacobthecarpetbagger@gmail.com
and check out my Flickr Photostream

The South Carolina BBQ Feud: Family, Politics and Racism

In the Carolinas, BBQ is simply the most important food around.  BBQ sauce is distinctively divided by region.  In Western Carolina you can expect sweet tomato based sauce.  In Eastern Carolina you will get Vinegar based sauce.  My personal favorite is South Carolina BBQ Sauce.  South Carolina BBQ sauce is mustard based and has a unique color and flavor.

In South Carolina BBQ is controlled by one family:  The Bessingers.  The Bessingers are not a united front.  There is a divide that runs deep through history, politics and culture.

Meet Maurice Bessinger, the most eccentric of the Bessingers.  He has run BBQ restaurants around central SC for many many years.  Think of him as an evil Colonel Sanders.

In 2000, the NAACP threatened to boycott the state of SC over the fact that they were flying the confederate flag over its capital building.  The state comprised and moved its flag to another location on the grounds.

This move enraged Maurice.  Maurice began flying confederate flags over all of his restaurants and even had the flag emblazoned on the back of his BBQ sauce bottle.

Not my image

 His backlash against the NAACP caused a backlash by the NAACP.  A boycott of his sause was threatened and as a result Walmart refused to carry Maurice's sauce.  This followed was followed by virtually every grocery store not wanting to be part of the controversy and refusing to carry Maurice's sauce.  (The sole exception would be Southern grocery store chain Ingles).

When Maurice's sauce was pulled from grocery stores across the South it was quickly replaced by another brand of sauce, that was surprisingly similar.

This sauce was produced by Maurice's older brother Melvin Bessinger.  At first the NAACP threatened another boycott as they felt this was a ruse by Maurice to sneak his sauce back in stores.

Melvin would then publicly denounce his brother and declare that Maurice was a racist.  Melvin was adamant that he did not follow the racist believes of his brother and stated his brother was an embarrassment to the family name.  The NAACP officially endorsed Melvin's sauce.

Maurice was again outraged and published a biography where he declared that Melvin was sadistic and abusive towards him when he was a kid. Maurice also stated that Melvin cheated him out of the families restaurant business because his mother loved him more.

Before knowing of the political ramifications of Maurice's BBQ me and my wife stopped there on a trip back from Charleston.  It was actually really amazing food.  As we leaving I noticed the gift shop, I noticed something was a little "off" as the gift shop was full of neo-confederate literature as well as a shrine to Maurice.  Oddly enough, the staff was entirely African American as well as half of the customers.

Maurice may have lightened up a touch.  At some of his restaurants (where he came across opposition) he switched out the traditional confederate flag for a more obsolete less iconic version.

Melvin passed away last year, but his restaurant is still known as the best BBQ in Charleston.

Outside of Charleston their brother Thomas operates a BBQ buffet.  Thomas refuses to comment on the feud between his brothers.  There is also a 4th brother who operates a BBQ restaurant in NC.

I will leave up to all of you to decide where your BBQ sauce allegiance lies.


The Carpetbagger

Please feel free to e-mail me at jacobthecarpetbagger@gmail.com
and check out my Flickr Photostream

Not So Scary Cults

Cults get a bad name.  When you think of Cults you either think of virgin sacrificing devil worshipers.......

or you think of such individuals like Jim Jones or David Koresh, people drinking cool-aid and sacrificing themselves to their Alien overlords.....

But across my travels I have come across several cults that are neither frightening nor dangerous.....I wanted to take a minute to talk about them....

3. Oyotunji African Village

As the word "cult" is considered derogetory, you would think that a group would a void using it, however the folks at the Oyotunji village proudly introduce themselves as a "Vodun Cult".

Read Closely

The Oyotunji consider themselves an independent nation despite the fact that it is only several acres of land in South Carolina.  However, they are not some secluded isolationists either.  They proudly advertize their existence.

We showed up at the village to find that it costs 10 dollars for Americans to get in.  I would have happily paid for a tour, but they didn't take credit cards.

2. The Koreshan Unity Settlement

No relation to David Koresh.

Sadly, there are no surviving members of the Koreshan Unity Settlement.  The reason there are no surviving members is simple.  They were a branch of the Shaker religion and believed in chastity, even after marriage.  Not reproducing is very detrimental to making your religion last.

The Koreshan Unity Settlement  was founded by one Cyrus Teed. 

Cyrus moved his followers to Estero, Fl to start his communal society.  The Koreshan's ran their own stores to raise money and sold such wonderful products as Koreshan Unity Jelly.

What really makes the Koreshan's stand out is one of their core beliefs.....

The Koreshans believed that the the earth was no convex, but concave.  Instead of living on the outside of the earth, they believed we lived on the inside.  The concept is illustrated quite nicely with this globe.

The belief was that we were held to the inside wall of the earth due to centrifugal force.  The sun was a burning battery floating in the middle of the sphere. 

Cyrus claimed to proved this theory using a mysterious device know as the Rectilineator, which he used in a series of experiments in Naples, FL.

When Cyrus died in 1908 it was assumed by his followers that he would rise from the dead, so they left him rotting in a bath tub until they were forced to bury him by local health officials.  His body would later be carried out to sea by a hurricane.

In the 1960s the last member would die and  leave the commune to the state of Florida, where you can now go to watch Gopher Tortoises breed.

1. The Raelians

Awhile back there was a controversial event held in Asheville, NC.  There was a "Topless Rally" to fight discrimination of women.  The rally organizers claimed they were there to fight inequality.  If men were allowed to go shirtless in public, then why shouldn't women?

There were a few flaws in this logic.  Number one is the fact that it is not illegal in North Carolina for woman to be topless in public.  This takes a little sting out of the protest.  Plus fact that the rally was primarily drunken frat boys that just showed up to see boobs also takes away from their cause a bit.

Here are some photos of the rally.  While I take no "side" in this matter, I choose not have nudity on my blog and added a little bit of censorship via my friend Little Satan.

Perplexed by the reasoning behind this event I did a little bit of research and found that this event was funded by the Raelian Church.

If you don't remember the Raelians, they are the UFO Cult that made headlines in 2002 when they claimed to have successfully have cloned a human being.  They believe that the human raise was created by Aliens.  They are dedicated to creating welcome centers across the world for the coming Alien landing.

What does this have to do with naked boobs?  Who knows.  Would it be cynical to think such a thing is publicity stunt?





The Carpetbagger

Please feel free to e-mail me at jacobthecarpetbagger@gmail.com
and check out my Flickr Photostream